I first discovered Lila Mina when she approached me to ask if I would consider reading one of her books for an honest review.

Well, of course, I said yes, and I did not regret it! 

What a great series TEMPER is.
I had never read anything set in Japan so I was totally intrigued by the cultural differences.
And the sex scenes? Holy wet knickers Batman!.

She is also one of the sweetest and most open and friendly people I have had the pleasure of talking to.

Have a wee look at what makes such a talented author tick below.

What is the first erotic book you remember reading and how old were you?
I stole some of my dad’s OSS 117 steamy old-fashioned spy books when I was a teenager, maybe 14? I read them under my covers at night.
It was raunchy and very explicit, although by today’s standards, not so special or kinky (thank goodness!). Of course, they were poorly written and in retrospect, I guess totally from a male gaze’s point of view, so I think I would just roll my eyes today if I read them again. But quickly I realized that reading erotica was a big turn-on for me, much more than watching it on screen because we got to experience the emotional aspects much deeper.

Do you write all of your scenes from personal experience?
OMG I wish I could say yes, but no! (strike that, I don’t wish this at all, given some scenes I’ve written are kinda extreme).

When did you first realise that dark erotica was your thing?
Well, I’m a Scorpio girl, and I think I was still in my teens when I realized I wanted to explore some of my darker fantasies by putting them on paper. I’ve read tons of stuff, often very bad that I DNF because so cliche, or abusive, but clearly, I understood rapidly that vanilla sex did nothing for my imagination and creativity, and that I wanted to explore the darker side of desire. Having said that, I’m maybe a bit odd on the dark erotica scene, because there are things that a lot of readers expect that I don’t do. I embrace sex positivity and feel like if someone embraces their kinks, they shouldn’t be shamed for that. I don’t like verbal degradation, even in role-play – too often women are called sluts and whores (even in roleplay) because they’re having a great time exploring themselves. The guys? Not so much. And this annoys me to no end.

What kind of research do you do for your sex scenes? (Pornhub?)
I rely on what people who practice safely and seriously BDSM or various kinks say and share, in the case it’s not something that I do myself.

Do you ever re-read one of your scenes and get turned on?
Hell yeah! If it doesn’t do anything on me, then I didn’t do it right.

Does your partner find your writing a turn on?
Yes he does!

Do your family members read your books?
Nope! My brother DNF, too embarrassed although proud of my published trilogy, and my parents don’t know about my writing at all.

Has anyone ever tried to shame you for writing / liking the darker side of erotica?
No, nobody so far, but also I don’t share with people who might.

Do you belong to any BDSM or fetish clubs?
No, I don’t!

How many icky messages do you get? (not including these questions, lol)
None so far, that’s a miracle!

Do you feel that sex talk should be kept to the bedroom or do you think that people should be more open about sexuality?
Oh, we really need to be more open. It’s a matter of safety for all involved, especially younger people, but actually not just them. There are too many taboos around sex that can lead to a life-threatening situation (illness, violence, death, injuries), not to mention unwanted pregnancy. 

Erotica doesn’t have to be dark, but even with dark erotica we should insist, again and again, that consent should always be key. 

I will not criticize writers of noncon/dubcon stories, because fantasies are just fine, and nobody gets hurt reading or writing that. But it wouldn’t hurt anyone to remind readers that this is not how sex should be done in real life. 

Fantasies are there to express buried desires, but such very dark stories shouldn’t become a how-to manual to hurt real people in real life.

Vanilla romance writers should also learn from BDSM followers and writers by highlighting how much expressed and retractable consent is important. 

I am frightened by reports showing that many teenagers, girls and boys, today think that anal sex is fine from the first date, even when they don’t want it, just because it’s standard, and that no doesn’t really mean no. T

hat’s terrible, and it’s really because we don’t openly talk about sex and all the ways it can be done. We also need to stop slut-shaming girls and women who want to embrace their desires. And of course, we need to talk more about LGBTQ desire and sexuality. This is also very important for us, (dark) erotica writers and readers.

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Thank you!